god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have aggressive nipples.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
