Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
