explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
