i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
