It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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