Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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