Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
