Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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