So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
