he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize