I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
