I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
