tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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