You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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