I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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