dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
