My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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