So drunk its hurt
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
