you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
