I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
