We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
