There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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