She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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