i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
