Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
