i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's Friday. Sex?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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