can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's official drugs can't kill me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
