My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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