Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
