This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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