I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
