fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize