You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
