So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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