Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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