This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
