Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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