That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
