Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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