why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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