i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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