Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
