i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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