$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
