It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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