just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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