Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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