He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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