I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
