I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
