so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
