I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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