She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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