My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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