I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
