S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
