Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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