Duck Duck Cougar?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
