a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
