she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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