according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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