you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize