Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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