he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i love accidental penises.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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