North Korea, Best Korea!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
