she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
