i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
