dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
