I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
