i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
