if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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