laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
