beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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